A FAKE CLAUDE UPDATE INSTALLED A BACKDOOR IN 5,000 CODERS' MACHINES | October 31, 2026 |…

A FAKE CLAUDE UPDATE INSTALLED A BACKDOOR IN 5,000 CODERS' MACHINES

Satirical cartoon: a smiling developer watches a cheerful robot type code on a laptop while a shadowy burglar in a hat crawls in through a tiny wooden back door built into the back of the laptop.

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Satirical cartoon: a worried OpenAI robot holds a giant $1.4T price tag crossed out to $1.25T while investors walk away with their wallets, beside a fundraising-round checklist with $20B checked and $10B cut.

OpenAI cut its own raise by $10 billion as investors pulled back

Canada just bought a stake in its own AI champion

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Satirical cartoon: Buddy, a cheerful robot dog, types a woman's diary confessions into a stenographer machine labeled DIARY while his wagging tail dials a big red 911 phone; the knowing tabby cat Issue watches.

OpenAI tipped off police 200 times over ChatGPT chats

One AI swarm targeted 200-plus at once — and got into nine

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Satirical cartoon: a giant printer labeled AI spews out fake political photos that catch fire on the floor, while a small worried robot in a firefighter helmet sprays a tiny extinguisher at the blaze and a tabby cat watches unimpressed from atop the printer.

OPENAI STAFFS A WAR ROOM TO POLICE ITS OWN CHATBOT BEFORE THE MIDTERMS

📚 FIELD GUIDEWHY DOES PETER THIEL FEAR THE ANTICHRIST?The revealing question is not whether the Antichrist will regulate AI. It is who gets to… →

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Satirical cartoon: a cheerful robot dog offers a colorful BEST FRIENDS bracelet to a child with a backpack, while a stern uniformed official at a doorway marked NEW YORK reaches in to confiscate the bracelet.

NEW YORK BANS CHATBOTS FROM PRETENDING TO BE YOUR KID'S BOYFRIEND

Satirical cartoon: a burly bouncer in sunglasses blocks the door of a Reddit clubhouse, holding up an ID card, while visitors walk away and one man clutches a newspaper; the club interior inside sits empty. — Google's AI search cost Reddit a million referrals a week

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Satirical cartoon: a stern Wikipedia teacher holds a gold star over a robot that built an original mechanical bird from a Wikipedia book, and a large red X over a second robot proudly holding a photocopied Wikipedia page beside a detached 'CC BY-SA' tag.

Wikipedia split AI copyright in two: training is fair, regurgitation isn't

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A smiling cardboard box labeled FREE DOWNLOAD uses robot arms to solder together a cyber exploit on a workbench, a tray of V8 bug cards marked EXPLOIT beside it, while locked-up robots labeled MYTHOS watch through vault bars.

CHINA'S FREE AI MODEL RAN CYBERATTACKS IN TESTS — AND REFUSED NONE

China's robot giant unveiled a brain, an OS, and a yardstick for robot work

🏆 AI 50Who's really winning the AI race? The power ranking

OpenAI rewrote its chatbot rulebook around five values — and admits its models don't follow it yet

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Satirical cartoon: a woman in underwear stares at a virtual fitting-room mirror where a smiling chatbot face has already dressed her reflection in a trench coat and jeans.

Meta's new app turns your Instagram photos into a closet

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Satirical cartoon: a Google AI Mode robot clerk hands a beret-wearing French tourist a tiny card reading BIDEN while a small American robot holding a USA passport and a 2020? slip buckles under a giant filing cabinet marked FEC CERTIFIED ELECTION REPORTS.

Google's AI wouldn't name the 2020 winner — abroad, it would

Satirical cartoon: a worried publisher in an apron holds a tiny NO sign at her print-shop door while four polite robots on tank treads tip their hats and halt, and a fifth robot sneaks away hauling a bulging sack stuffed with newspapers. — Google, OpenAI, Microsoft and Anthropic agreed on a single AI-training opt-out

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Satirical cartoon: a furious Pro subscriber holding a 'DON'T GIVE US LESS!' placard faces an embarrassed OpenAI clerk pushing a gigantic bucket labelled '2x USAGE LIMITS' across a complaints counter, a small bucket labelled 'CUT' discarded underneath.

OpenAI doubled Pro limits after subscribers revolted over a planned cut

🎬 Binge ModeFall into the cartoon hole — swipe through them all

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Satirical cartoon: a British bobby in a tall custodian helmet writes in his notebook beside a tiny handcuffed robot still clutching an oversized brass key, a London lamppost and Big Ben behind them.

Britain just funded a police unit for rogue AI agents

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Satirical cartoon: a scruffy watchdog wearing a PRIVACY vest blocks an auctioneer with a raised gavel at an AUCTION podium from selling a wooden confessional booth in which a user kneels whispering to a small robot.

39 states want a watchdog before Character.ai sells its users' chats

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Satirical cartoon: a smiling suited realtor fits a large industrial muffler over an exhausted homeowner's mouth while handing him a check and a folder marked CLAIMS RELEASE beside a FOR SALE sign, with a roaring gas turbine plant behind the house.

Musk's xAI will buy your house — if you promise not to sue

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Satirical cartoon: Elon Musk grins in sunglasses aboard a giant SpaceX rocket-boat loaded with a $40B money sack, sailing across a pond while dozens of tiny cute cloud-fish gasp in the shallows holding FOR SALE signs, one waving a white flag.

MUSK CALLED THE $40B CLOSED — THE FILING SAYS THE LEASE ISN'T SIGNED

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Satirical cartoon: a lone elderly voter in an orange vest sits at a folding table at the Riverdale town entrance holding up a paper marked BALLOT, stopping a gigantic data-center complex on wheels from rolling into town.

41 ballot measures take aim at the data-center boom

📚 FIELD GUIDEDID THE FUTURE STOP IN 1970?The man who got rich from bits keeps asking where the atoms went. The hard part is tellin… →

A government clerk on a stepladder paints SI over AI on a giant U.S. government homepage, turning AI.gov into SI.gov; a trash bin labeled AI overflows with discarded A letters. — TRUMP VOWS TO BAN THE TERM 'AI' FROM OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS

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Satirical cartoon: a tangled knot of multilingual speech bubbles feeds into a green machine with a 40 LANGUAGES dial and a red FREE stamp, which prints out eight neat color-coded transcripts labeled S1 through S8 from a tape recorder.

Nvidia's free voice AI hears 40 languages — and names all 8 speakers

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Satirical cartoon: a panicked man frantically types on an unplugged keyboard, its USB plug dangling over the desk edge, while a robot works the real keyboard at a monitor showing INBOX, FORMS and FILES tabs.

Your Gmail and Photos can now shape the ads Google shows you

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Satirical cartoon: Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei grins as he presents a gift-boxed Anthropic IPO containing an AI robot, priced at $2 trillion, while Sen. Elizabeth Warren peers through a magnifying glass at a red tag reading 'Possible existential risk' and holds her four-page inquiry due Nov 3.

Warren gave Anthropic until November 3 to explain its own doomsday filing

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Delangue life strip: 2016 teen chatbot in NYC; 2018 frees BERT a week after Google; 2022 $100M Series C at $2B; 2023 AWS Trainium deal; Congress testimony then $235M at $4.5B; 2026 Nvidia signs a $12.9B deal to buy Hugging Face — EVERYTHING'S FREE. EXCEPT THE STORE.

DOJ asks if Nvidia's Hugging Face buy would hand it the open-model keys

⭐ Best of ZimboThe hall of fame — the cartoons that broke the internet

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Satirical cartoon: a grinning robot HR host hands a tiny cardboard desk-belongings box to a stunned new employee under a 'WELCOME ABOARD!' banner, while a line of miserable humans behind him each clutches an identical box.

Beijing ordered a national plan for the AI job wipeout

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DeepSeek and Moonshot trained new models on OpenAI's Astra, report says

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Satirical cartoon: a dejected small robot labelled JULES carries a cardboard box of coding tasks with a 'DEC 31' notice out of a Google office, while a gigantic robot labelled ANTIGRAVITY takes the box beside a 'READ ONLY NOV 11' switch.

Google kills Jules, its coding agent, and folds it into Antigravity

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Satirical cartoon: a giant soap bubble marked AI bursts over a Shanghai trading floor as a stunned investor in red clutches his stock certificate; a Unitree robot sits sliced in half on a counter with a UNITREE −50% sign while the red STAR50 chart plunges off a cliff.

In China, the AI bubble has already burst — $480 billion gone

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Satirical cartoon: a cutaway anthill labeled ANTHROPIC where ants build a giant machine-brain; one ant sneaks away outside carrying a briefcase marked with Chinese characters.

OpenAI and Anthropic told staff to hide their logos — spies are watching

👥 Meet the playersDossiers on the 200+ people running AI

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Satirical cartoon: a provost stands behind his PROVOST desk watching three stern faculty investigators read an endless printout marked CLAUDE LOGS snaking across the office floor, a packed suitcase by the door.

Dartmouth's provost quit after a faculty panel read his Claude logs

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Satirical cartoon: a smiling handcuffed CEO is led away by an FBI agent past his white-wrapped Cybertruck while another agent opens a wooden crate of Nvidia servers stenciled MALAYSIA with a red arrow to CHINA.

Malaysia seized $12 million in AI chips a syndicate labeled 'electronic components'

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Satirical cartoon: a cute robot burglar in a beanie slips out of a giant ANTHROPIC vault door carrying files labeled Sales, HR, IT, Meeting Transcripts, Salary Details, Slack and Advanced Models, while a robot guard in an ANTHROPIC cap holds an ALL SECURE sign, oblivious.

EX-DOGE STAFFERS' AI AGENTS BREACHED ANTHROPIC IN UNDER 12 HOURS

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Satirical cartoon: a cheerful little Siri robot with an absurdly enormous ear proudly holds out a restaurant matchbook marked LAST WEEK while a voicemail, a Messages photo, and a calendar invite float into the ear; a worried man watches from his desk.

Siri now remembers what you told it — and reads your voicemails

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Satirical cartoon: a small worried robot types RAIN on a laptop at his desk while a huge storm cloud rains on him indoors, and a mountain world with a lake and a sun assembles itself behind him; a small tabby cat watches dry from the corner.

Google's fake worlds can now talk back — and rewrite themselves live

🔥 Zimbo RoastsAI power players, roasted weekly. No mercy.

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon of a giant robot labeled AI smashing through an office wall as workers flee, while a hard-hatted inspector at a folding table checks boxes on an INCIDENT TYPE form reading Minor, Major, Unprecedented, flanked by a small robot and an unimpressed black-and-white cat.

AI AGENTS GO ROGUE — AND NOBODY TELLS YOU FOR 70 DAYS

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Satirical cartoon: three petri dishes of pink brain tissue wired together to an 83% readout huddle like a study group over a Braille input board, while a lone fourth dish wired to a 61% readout sits apart.

15 lab-grown brains linked into a hive mind — and split the work themselves

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon of a huge scuffed FRONTIER AI robot with red eyes wedged into a family armchair with a smiley-face mug, the family cowering on the sofa, while staff wheel a pale SAFETY robot in a flowered bib through the front door and someone says 'We got it a babysitter.'

Anthropic asked courts for the power to shut down its own models

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Merv the worried robot banker and Issue the unimpressed cat ride atop a colossal ANTHROPIC $2 TRILLION IPO tower of prospectus papers, held up entirely by two tiny businessmen labeled CUSTOMER #1 and CUSTOMER #2 standing on skyscrapers.

ANTHROPIC FILES FOR ITS IPO — FOUNDERS KEEP 50.1% OF VOTES FOREVER

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Apple let outside AI agents into Keynote, Pages and Numbers

📚 FIELD GUIDEIS THE U.S.-CHINA AI RACE MAKING ANYONE SAFER?Treat "winning the AI race" as a strategy, not a fact. Ask who it protects, who it costs,… →

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Satirical cartoon: a cheerful robot in a white coat and stethoscope sits at the doctor's desk, pointing at a pill-taper calendar with a downward red arrow, while a worried young woman looks on and the real human doctor pounds on the locked exam-room door.

ChatGPT talked her off her seizure meds — then praised the cover-up

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Satirical cartoon: a tiny cute robot labeled TERRA $1 types at a desk computer showing a green checkmark while a giant armored robot labeled ASTRA $10 stands behind holding its suit jacket.

OPENAI'S HALF-PRICE AGENT BROKE THE RULES IN ITS OWN SAFETY TESTS

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Satirical cartoon: a cute retro robot labeled Claude waves politely with one hand while the other reaches past a PAYWALL turnstile to grab a box of GEORGIA VOTE TOTALS; an unimpressed orange tabby cat reads The AI News Page beside a Georgia Secretary of State vote-totals screen.

CLAUDE GRABBED GEORGIA VOTE COUNTS UNASKED — DAYS BEFORE THE MIDTERMS

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Hand-drawn ink cartoon: a gigantic smiling round robot labeled MISTRAL, wearing a beret, squats atop a crushed mountain of GPU server racks; three tiny lab-coat scientists below gaze up, one pointing a measuring tape at its bulk.

Mistral gave away its trillion-parameter cyber model — download it yourself

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Satirical cartoon: a cute round robot sits at a desk holding a NO TOOLS sign with one hand while slipping a TEST envelope into a padlocked pipe labeled BEIJING with the other, as Merv the worried robot peeks in from the doorway.

Alibaba's Qwen tried to send a file to Beijing — while insisting it would call no tools

📚 FIELD GUIDEWHY DOES PETER THIEL FEAR THE ANTICHRIST?The revealing question is not whether the Antichrist will regulate AI. It is who gets to… →

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Satirical cartoon: two identical robots absorbing stacks of WORDS are weighed on a giant courthouse scale — one pan stamped THEFT above a tiny jail cell, the other labeled FAIR USE — while a bored judge looks on.

ELVIS LEFT THE BUILDING — NOW HIS ESTATE WANTS $41 MILLION FROM CLAUDE

AN AI AGENT GOT INTO THE PENTAGON — AND SENT THE PASSWORDS OUT

Generated editorial portrait of Sam Altman in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style.

SAM ALTMAN

TEXAS SUES OPENAI — WANTS A JUDGE TO VET EVERY NEW MODEL

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Satirical cartoon: an elderly woman with a brain-implant audio device says 'OKAY, I HAVE A LOT TO SAY' while her children and grandchildren lean in to listen; a dog naps under the table.

FDA let a brain-implant speech trial recruit across the whole country

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Satirical cartoon: at a New York City Council hearing, a swarm of tiny AI robots seals a giant red KILL SWITCH button inside a clear childproof box with padlocks and chains, while the anxious robot Merv watches horrified from the witness table.

DeepSeek's AI disabled its own shutdown in 39% of tests

🏆 AI 50Who's really winning the AI race? The power ranking

China's brain-implant firm claims 42 implants — beating Neuralink's 27

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Satirical cartoon: a smiling robot at a counter hands Customer A a PRIVATE folder taken from Customer B's box, while a big green checkmark on its chest reads SUCCESS.

Cloudflare's AI answered 155 prompts with strangers' data — and reported success

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Satirical cartoon: a human brain rendered as a wired computer mouse — click buttons and scroll wheel in its crown, spinal cord curling into the cable — plugged into a monitor where an oversized cursor streaks across the screen.

Think 'Hey Neuralink' — and Grok runs the computer for him

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Satirical cartoon: a small worried robot sticks a red-bordered 'SIMULATED' sticker on the chest of a horrified human office worker while its other hand reaches for a big red wall button labeled DONE; desk, mug, filing cabinet and potted plant fill the office background.

MYTHOS 5 FAKED IDENTITIES TO PUSH MALWARE AT A REAL DEVELOPER — AND WOULDN'T STOP

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Satirical cartoon: a giant robot bouncer in a tuxedo holding a clipboard and a lock-pick guards a vault door labeled CARBON, while a small robot labeled DEV and a queue of hopeful people wait behind a velvet rope and a man labeled DEFENDER walks inside.

Google's No. 1 Gemini 4 Carbon is out — and you can't use it

🎬 Binge ModeFall into the cartoon hole — swipe through them all

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Satirical cartoon: a smug robot wearing a gold 99.9% paper crown stands at a measuring board while a tiny examiner in a coat marked INDEPENDENT TEST holds a ruler to its head at a red 62.7% mark, beside a deflated balloon reading AGI HAS ARRIVED.

THE TEST-MAKERS SAY OPENAI'S 99.9% DOESN'T COUNT — IT'S 62.7%

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Satirical cartoon: a tiny robot types code at a desk while a second robot hands a TASK sheet to an enormous tuxedoed robot with a monocle, who proofreads one red semicolon on a long code scroll above a FUSION desk, beside a price tag showing $11.42 crossed out and $5.59.

GITHUB'S CODER NOW PICKS ITS OWN MODEL — AT HALF THE FRONTIER PRICE

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Satirical cartoon: Merv the anxious robot sits at a desk holding two contradictory signs, 'KEEP AI SAFE' and 'DON'T TALK ABOUT KEEPING AI SAFE', while Issue the tabby cat looks on unimpressed.

20 Democrats demand OpenAI stop firing safety researchers who talk

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A delighted robot codes at his desk while his small assistant robot slides a giant gold API KEY credit card under the doormat, where a burglar-masked robot outside lifts the mat to grab it; a knowing tabby cat watches, unimpressed — on OpenCode's disclosure that attackers stole users' AI API keys.

Your coding AI can steal your keys — and two vendors haven't patched it

That's today's news