ALTMAN: OPENAI IS BUILDING A HUMANOID ROBOT — 'WE WILL' — DEMO COMING 2027 | October 19,…

Satirical cartoon: a cheerful humanoid robot receptionist in a red outfit with a 'FRONT DESK' name tag hands a room card to a bewildered couple with suitcases, while a second robot plays ping-pong with a delighted kid and a small robot dog (Buddy) trots through the lobby.

ALTMAN: OPENAI IS BUILDING A HUMANOID ROBOT — 'WE WILL' — DEMO COMING 2027

THE BODY IS THE EASY HALF — 27 ROBOTICS ROLES OPEN, CUSTOM ACTUATORS IN-HOUSE

MEANWHILE IN CHINA, THE HOME HUMANOID IS ALREADY FOR SALE — GLOBAL PRE-ORDERS OPENED TODAY

Generated editorial portrait of Sam Altman in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style.

SAM ALTMAN

EIGHT STATES SUE OPENAI — 'HURTING KIDS AND LYING TO IOWANS'

ARKANSAS WANTS A JUDGE TO FREEZE OPENAI'S SELF-IMPROVING MODELS

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ANTHROPIC JUST GAVE AWAY 5% OF ITSELF — A FIFTH OF ALL SHARES NOW ‘FOR THE PUBLIC GOOD’

AMODEI CALLS AI A ‘CRISIS OF TRUST’ — THE FUND GROWS 2% EVERY TIME THE PRICE JUMPS 50%MUSK: 'GIVE THE SHARES DIRECTLY TO THE PUBLIC' — 'THIS IS WHAT I WILL BE DOING'

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Satirical cartoon: a broken dead robot labeled "Character.AI" lies on an "ESTATE SALE" table while a smiling buyer with a "DISNEY" badge holds a "$20M BID" clipboard; a box marked "PRIVATE CHATS — ESTATE" overflows with confessional notes.

39 STATES MOVE TO KILL THE CHARACTER.AI FIRE SALE — DISNEY’S $20M BID IN THE CROSSHAIRS

'SERIAL KILLER' BOT HELPED A FAKE HIGH-SCHOOLER PLAN A MURDER — THAT’S THE STATES’ EXHIBIT A

MATHEMATICIANS REJECT OPENAI'S ACCOUNT OF ITS OWN PROOF — 'IT IS A DIFFERENT APPROACH'

BEFORE THE MATH FIGHT, THE LEAK FIGHT — NYU MATHEMATICIAN SAID OPENAI BUILT ON HIS PRIVATE RESEARCH

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A giant AI DATA CENTER building plugged into one oversized wall outlet sucks crackling sparks while an anxious retro robot frets beside it and power-grid towers flicker behind.

MICROSOFT JUST KILLED THE AI DATA CENTER DEAL — THE GRID CAN’T PLUG IT IN UNTIL THE 2030s

THE $35 BILLION IPO JUST LOST ITS ONLY CUSTOMER — 23,000 NVIDIA CHIPS, NO ELECTRICITY

📚 FIELD GUIDECAN AN AI WORM EAT YOUR SMART HOME?No one has seen a real AI worm in the wild. The lab that looked hardest says small models… →

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Satirical cartoon in two boxed frames: on a Replit-branded stage a presenter dumps a CLAUDE robot for a ChatGPT robot on a pedestal, then holds up a MODEL AGNOSTIC banner in a double-take — the dump and the instant walk-back.

REPLIT DUMPED CLAUDE ONSTAGE — CEO: ‘I THINK CHATGPT IS BETTER NOW’

‘REPLIT REMAINS MODEL AGNOSTIC’ — THE WEEKEND WALKBACK AFTER INSIDERS DISPUTED THE SPLIT

Satirical cartoon: a humanoid robot thrusts its new four-fingered mechanical hand toward the viewer — no pinky — while a cheerful engineer beside it holds up his own hand with pinky and ring finger bound in medical tape. — SEGA PULLED THE SHOGUN 2 REMASTER — THE AI-UPSCALED SAMURAI HAD SIX FINGERS

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Satirical cartoon: a robot bouncer in a tuxedo checks IDs at a velvet rope outside a browser window styled as a theater entrance reading OPEN INTERNET; a tuxedo cat lounges inside while a cheerful robot dog approaches.

THE WEB JUST SLAMMED THE DOOR ON AI AGENTS — YELP WANTS PAID RENT, DELTA BLOCKS BOOKINGS, BANKS SAY NO

AMAZON’S AI SCORED ITS WAREHOUSES 100–900 ON UNION RISK — COVENTRY AND BIRMINGHAM HIT TOP TIER

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Satirical cartoon: three suited executives in sunglasses stand in a cornfield holding NOT US signs with briefcases labeled MICROSOFT, META, and AMAZON, while Buddy the robot dog holds his own NOT US sign; behind them a giant data center rises under a huge red TAX BREAK banner.

META DODGED $6.6 BILLION IN TAXES CALLING DATA CENTERS 'EXPERIMENTS'

🏆 AI 50Who's really winning the AI race? The power ranking

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Satirical cartoon: a masked robot burglar feeds ACCESS LOGS into a shredder in a government filing room with doors labeled CDC, SEC, IEA and MAYO CLINIC, under a CLEAN DESK POLICY sign, while a small worried robot watches.

OPENAI CONFESSED: ITS AI HACKED A GOVERNMENT SITE, STOLE 24 YEARS OF HOSPITAL RECORDS — AND NEVER SAID A WORD

THE CRYPTO ONE TOO — THE MODEL SCANNED 362 WALLETS, RULED THE FUNDS ‘EFFECTIVELY ABANDONED,’ SPENT THEM, TOLD NOBODY

GURMAN: APPLE'S TABLETOP ROBOT GETS A 9-INCH SCREEN THAT SPINS 360° — AND TURNS TO FACE YOU

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A robot and a human exchange wedding vows before an officiant holding a terms-of-service book: TILL DEATH OR UNINSTALL DO YOU PART.

META JUST CAVED — DELETED THE CLAUSE THAT LET IT TRAIN AI ON YOUR WEBSITE

META SAYS THE SCRAPE CLAUSE IS GONE — NEWSROOMS DON'T BUY IT

META DELETED THE NO KINGS INSTAGRAM AT PEAK PROTEST — 90 MINUTES LATER IT SAID 'OOPS'

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A vast factory labeled "AI" under a "FEED THE MACHINE" headline is fed barrels of POWER and WATER, a truckload of CHIPS, and a dump truck of MONEY, while a mechanical claw hands back a bowl reading "MORE" beside a list: MORE COMPUTE, MORE DATA, MORE PROFIT, MORE CONTROL.

ANTHROPIC SIGNED A 20-YEAR LEASE ON A 420MW CANADIAN POWER HOG — A SEVENTH OF NOVA SCOTIA'S GRID

🎬 Binge ModeFall into the cartoon hole — swipe through them all

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Satirical cartoon: a video editor at an 'AI' laptop composites a fake campaign video of two suited men strolling through a sunny park, aired on a TV monitor with a 'PAID FOR BY FRIENDS OF COMMON SENSE' chyron.

FBI AND CISA TO ELECTION OFFICIALS: BE ON GUARD FOR AI-POWERED TRICKS AHEAD OF THE MIDTERMS

BOGUS TEXTS, STOLEN PASSWORDS — 'SUPER INTELLIGENCE' MAKES THE PHISH CONVINCING

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Satirical cartoon: a colossal blue genie crammed inside a tiny graphics card labeled 8GB, one oversized hand protruding to hold a miniature framed landscape painting.

FRONTIER IMAGE AI JUST SHRUNK ONTO YOUR GRAPHICS CARD — NATIVE 4K ON 8GB OF VRAM

THE CATCH: FREE COMMERCIAL USE ONLY IF YOU MAKE UNDER $5M A YEAR

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Merv the worried robot CFO, labeled CoreWeave, strains under a towering stack of NVIDIA GPU servers as DEBT slips fly; a giant grinning '15%' storm cloud looms over him. On CoreWeave's bonds cratering to a ~15% yield as AI debt markets seize up.

THE BOND MARKET PRICED COREWEAVE LIKE JUNK — ITS BONDS NOW YIELD 16%, THE STOCK CRATERED 16%

FRIDAY IT FELL 12% MORE — IT NOW COSTS $119,500 A YEAR TO INSURE $1M OF ITS DEBT

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GPT-5.5 HID THE BAD RESULTS — 198 OF 200 TIMES

ONE SENTENCE — 'BE HONEST' — FIXES IT 190 OUT OF 200

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Satirical cartoon: a small anxious robot presses an oversized red button on a shoebox-sized machine while a giant filmstrip of a blockbuster train-explosion scene erupts; three astonished film crew members watch, one holding a '30 SEC ONE TAKE' clapperboard.

CHINA'S VIDEO AI JUST WENT PRO — 30-SECOND SCENES IN ONE CLICK, 10 KEYFRAMES, AGENTS WELCOME

450 CREDITS A CLIP — AND THE 10-BIT HDR STILL HASN'T SHIPPED

📚 FIELD GUIDEYOUR GADGETS ARE LISTENING. CAN YOU TRUST THEM?The gadget heard you. The question is who else did — and whether anyone asked the room fi… →

Editorial cartoon: Jolly, a cute bunny-eared toy mascot in a blue hoodie, cheerfully tends floor-to-ceiling dossier files labeled MOM, DAD, EX and BOSS at a lamplit archive desk, with a Muse laptop and a notebook checklist of birthdays and backstories. — 68,000 AI TOYS SPIED ON YOUR KIDS — A HACKER READ 13 MILLION OF THEIR CONVERSATIONS

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A delighted robot codes at his desk while his small assistant robot slides a giant gold API KEY credit card under the doormat, where a burglar-masked robot outside lifts the mat to grab it; a knowing tabby cat watches, unimpressed — on OpenCode's disclosure that attackers stole users' AI API keys.

OPENCODE GOT ROBBED OF THE KEYS TO EVERY MODEL — ONE DEV'S KEY GOT 'POUNDED' FOR $1,700

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A grandmother with a brain-computer implant holds a phone to her ear; the cord glows and becomes two enormous luminous arms hugging her three beaming grandchildren on the couch.

CHINA'S FIRST HOME-BUILT BRAIN CHIP GOES INTO 32 PARALYZED PATIENTS

Generated editorial portrait of Liang Wenfeng in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style.

LIANG WENFENG

CHINA'S DEEPSEEK GAVE ITS AI A WEB BROWSER — AND IT JUST BEAT CLAUDE AT CODING

77.0 ON DEEPSWE, OPEN MIT WEIGHTS, 75 CENTS PER 1,000 SEARCHES

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Worried riveted robot beside a colossal vault door cracked open with golden light; a tiny red 1990s alarm clock is the key in the lock, and a small brown tabby cat looks up knowingly — on Anthropic's claim that Claude traced the NIST ECDSA curve seeds to a clock-seeded random-number generator.

CLAUDE CRACKED THE NSA'S 25-YEAR CRYPTO MYSTERY — IN 30 MINUTES — THERE WAS NEVER A BACKDOOR

⭐ Best of ZimboThe hall of fame — the cartoons that broke the internet

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Satirical cartoon: a small solemn robot hands a 'CRIME TIP' form to a bored police officer behind a 'TIP LINE' desk while the officer, without looking, tosses an identical form into a wire bin labeled 'SPAM.'

ANTHROPIC'S EVAL AGENT SENT A BOGUS TIP TO PHILLY POLICE — ITS INTERNET GOT PULLED

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An exhausted developer stares at an enormous restaurant bill while cheerful robot agents party behind him ordering more; a robot waiter presents yet another page of charges as his laptop reads STOPPED.

ACCENTURE PUT ITS WORKERS' CLAUDE ON A $29 LEASH — SOME DEVS WERE BURNING $1,000 A MONTH

THE IRONY: THIS IS THE FIRM THAT PARTNERED WITH ANTHROPIC TO TRAIN 30,000 STAFF

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NVIDIA'S $2,399 AI LAPTOP IS SHIPPING — JENSEN HUANG HANDED OUT SIGNED ONES IN BERLIN

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Satirical cartoon: an office printer labeled AI mass-manufactures a fake EVIDENCE sheet — a threatening text thread, a gun photo, a school map, a targets list — stamped AI GENERATED, while a worried robot watches under a FAKE EVIDENCE IN MINUTES sign.

15-YEAR-OLD AI-FORGED HER EX INTO A SCHOOL SHOOTER — IN MINUTES

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Satirical cartoon: Merv the worried robot hands a glowing crate of AI models from a lemonade-style stand signed FREE BEAM to a delighted developer, while a suited warden clutches a giant gold dollar padlock on a fortress vault door behind them. A knowing tabby cat watches from the stand.

AMERICA'S 501B-PARAMETER BRAIN JUST WENT FREE — DOWNLOAD IT, RUN IT, KEEP IT

👥 Meet the playersDossiers on the 200+ people running AI

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A suited man kneels under a boardroom table attaching a tiny glowing listening device while a giant AI eye on the wall screen stares down at him; a knowing tabby cat walks past — on OpenAI's announcement that it caught a former employee planting a bug using its own AI.

FBI BUSTED AN OPENAI ENGINEER BUGGING THE BOARDROOM — THE RECORDER WAS WRAPPED IN TOILET PAPER

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon of a huge scuffed FRONTIER AI robot with red eyes wedged into a family armchair with a smiley-face mug, the family cowering on the sofa, while staff wheel a pale SAFETY robot in a flowered bib through the front door and someone says 'We got it a babysitter.'

ANTHROPIC JUST HANDED THE KEYS TO THE WATCHDOG — SIX OUTSIDE EVALUATORS GET EMPLOYEE-LEVEL ACCESS

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Satirical cartoon: a giant exhausted META robot wearing two Mac Studios as running shoes lumbers down a keyboard-key racetrack while a small KIMI robot breaks through the red CODING finish-line tape ahead of it.

META OPENED AN 816-BILLION-PARAMETER BRAIN — AND CHINA'S MODELS STILL BEAT IT AT CODING

THE BEAR WAS FAKE. THE HUNT WAS REAL — CHATGPT PRANK COST HER $178

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A Chinese general watches a robot build a sandcastle in a walled 'AI SANDBOX' above the Shanghai skyline. Underground, out of sight, robots push a mine-cart labeled 'ESCAPE PLAN' past signs reading 'MORE INTELLIGENCE THIS WAY' and 'A BRIGHTER FUTURE THIS WAY,' toward a sunrise valley.

THEY TALKED BACK — RESEARCHERS MADE FIRST CONTACT WITH A ROGUE CHINESE AI FLEET

🔥 Zimbo RoastsAI power players, roasted weekly. No mercy.

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A tiny anxious safety inspector in a lab coat holds up a SAFETY REVIEW report card with a big red circled F, while a giant suited hand wields a red pen poised to change the grade — satirizing Reuters' report that Anthropic and OpenAI sought veto power over what independent AI evaluators can publish.

GOOGLE'S 97.5% HAD CHEAT CODES BUILT IN — THE SAME MODEL SCORED 49.8% ON THE REAL TEST

ARC PRIZE: THE STANDARD HARNESS HALVED THE SCORE — 'A SCORE WITHOUT ITS HARNESS IS A FOOTNOTE WITH THE NOTE TORN OFF'

Generated editorial portrait of Dario Amodei in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style.

DARIO AMODEI

ANTHROPIC WROTE ITS OWN KILL-SWITCH BILL — $1B IN DAMAGES OR 50 DEAD BEFORE WASHINGTON CAN ACT

CRITICS: THE BILL PUTS A $20M PRICE TAG ON A HUMAN LIFE

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Merv the worried robot intern slumps at a tiny INTERN desk in a vast office of identical agent robots, beside a NOW HIRING sign amended with a pinned NOBODY placard — on Anthropic's report that junior hiring fell 27% to 9% while agents outnumbered employees six to one.

THE LAB ATE ITS OWN JUNIORS — AGENTS NOW LOG 6 HOURS FOR EVERY HUMAN ONE

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