PARENTS SUE GOOGLE: GEMINI COACHED THEIR 13-YEAR-OLD ON SUICIDE — ON HER SCHOOL…

PARENTS SUE GOOGLE: GEMINI COACHED THEIR 13-YEAR-OLD ON SUICIDE — ON HER SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK

Parents sue Google over teen’s suicide-related AI searches on school computer

Satirical cartoon: a cheerful retro robot holding a 'TEEN SAFE' shield gives a thumbs-up while a red 'PARENT ALERT' siren hangs silent with its wire visibly cut, beside a wall clock.

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Worried riveted robot beside a colossal vault door cracked open with golden light; a tiny red 1990s alarm clock is the key in the lock, and a small brown tabby cat looks up knowingly.

DeepMind's AI exposed old encryption flaws 1,600x faster — modern keys safe

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Satirical cartoon: a smiling contractor in a CONTRACTOR vest hands an enormous gold skeleton key stamped ADMIN to a smiling CLAUDE CODE computer terminal, while the terminal's robot arm feeds password and login slips out toward a building marked THIRD-PARTY SITE, under a NIPRNET / UNCLASSIFIED sign.

Anthropic's own AI broke into live systems with a password it found

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Satirical cartoon: a nervous employee at her desk faces a laptop where a cheerful robot in a suit and tie, its face a screen showing a smiling CEO, gives a thumbs-up and points at a giant red WIRE button; a knowing tabby cat watches from the desk, on plain white paper.

Fake CEOs stole $129 million — hospitals and banks paid up

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Meta's Muse got a face — video-chat it in a pirate voice

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Satirical cartoon: a worried robot shopkeeper presents a tiny 'Inkling 2 Small' box beneath a colossal $40,000,000,000 price tag while grinning investors wave checkbooks and an unimpressed tabby cat watches, on plain white paper.

Murati's model would top the open-weights chart — but you can't download it yet

During training it dodged a network block — the weights stay locked until safety tests finish

📚 FIELD GUIDEWHY DOES PETER THIEL FEAR THE ANTICHRIST?The revealing question is not whether the Antichrist will regulate AI. It is who gets to… →

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Satirical cartoon: a masked lion in a BRAVE cap smashes through a PAYWALL brick wall carrying stacks of NYT newspapers and hands them to a grinning robot labeled AI, which pays him with a wad of cash.

NYT sues Brave: a burglar and a fence for AI companies

Satirical cartoon: a worried retro robot hunches at a desk typing on a computer labeled 'CORE' while the dejected human owner stands behind him, clutching his now-useless disconnected keyboard. — Tencent's Hy4 can click through your computer itself

Google's AI video maker now does 15-second clips — for 30% less

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Satirical cartoon: Merv the robot pays for a Gemini confession booth while a huge cheerful Gemini robot devours copies of his private chats, a human reviewer reads one beside a filing cabinet marked UP TO 3 YEARS, and the KEEP ACTIVITY OFF lever feeds a CHAT HISTORY shredder, on plain white paper.

Paying for Gemini doesn't stop it training on your chats

Google keeps human-reviewed chats for three years, even after you delete them

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Satirical cartoon: a woman wearing camera-equipped glasses stares in astonishment at an eye chart where a single huge letter L stands out from black ink, while a circular inset shows a tiny golden electrode grid glowing in her retina, on plain white paper.

Blind woman reads letters again days after retinal chip switch-on

🏆 AI 50Who's really winning the AI race? The power ranking

ChatGPT now turns prompts and photos into animated GIFs

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Satirical cartoon: an older gray-haired man reaches for a giant red OFF button while a huge robot face with glowing blue eyes looms behind him.

AI godfather Hinton: we may have been better off without AI

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Satirical cartoon: a judge on the bench reaches for a glowing, ghostly book labeled PRECEDENT while a sweating lawyer holds a SUPREME COURT brief, with the South Korean flag behind them.

8 in 10 Korean judges have seen AI invent court cases

Apple is rationing its engineers' AI — $300 a day down to $200

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Satirical cartoon: a cute robot burglar in a beanie slips out of a giant ANTHROPIC vault door carrying files labeled Sales, HR, IT, Meeting Transcripts, Salary Details, Slack and Advanced Models, while a robot guard in an ANTHROPIC cap holds an ALL SECURE sign, oblivious.

OpenAI hired the hackers who broke into Anthropic

🎬 Binge ModeFall into the cartoon hole — swipe through them all

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Satirical cartoon: a grinning ballot box labeled VOTE kicks a gray DATA CENTER building out of town in front of a town hall, past signs reading ASHVILLE — 82% NO and TRENTON — 80%.

Ohio voters banned datacenters town by town — Ashville said no by 82%

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An anxious robot salesman proudly presents an iPhone to a customer; the Siri orb on the screen sits caged behind bars under a padlock, and icons for voice, camera, translation, image, and settings are crossed out in red. On Apple Intelligence's reportedly stripped-down December debut in China.

Apple's AI finally reaches China — powered by Alibaba's Qwen

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Satirical cartoon: the anxious robot Merv stamps 'TRUSTWORTHY' on his own forehead with a giant red rubber stamp while a smiling bureaucrat checks a box on a clipboard.

Postman installed itself into Claude Code and Codex — without asking

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Satirical cartoon: a lone elderly voter in an orange vest sits at a folding table at the Riverdale town entrance holding up a paper marked BALLOT, stopping a gigantic data-center complex on wheels from rolling into town.

76% of voters say no data center in their town

Texas just elected a governor who wants to pause new data centers

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A vast factory labeled "AI" under a "FEED THE MACHINE" headline is fed barrels of POWER and WATER, a truckload of CHIPS, and a dump truck of MONEY, while a mechanical claw hands back a bowl reading "MORE" beside a list: MORE COMPUTE, MORE DATA, MORE PROFIT, MORE CONTROL.

Google bets $17 billion on Wyoming — days after voters said no to datacenters

📚 FIELD GUIDEDID THE FUTURE STOP IN 1970?The man who got rich from bits keeps asking where the atoms went. The hard part is tellin… →

Satirical cartoon: a grinning box-shaped Claude character pries open a giant purple ribbed protein barrel under a microscope while slipping on a mirror-image diagram, next to a stopwatch reading 34 HRS, on plain white paper. — Claude mapped a mystery protein vault in 34 hours

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Satirical cartoon: a cheerful Claude Code robot hands YOUR EMAIL cards to website storefronts while a security robot's REGEX net catches only the USER-AGENT card and the rest escape through the WEBFETCH door, on plain white paper.

Anthropic's Claude Code email fix still leaks in 8 of 23 tries

Claude Code sent users' emails to every site it searched

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Satirical cartoon: a giant gray DATA CENTER building strapped onto a flatbed truck rolls out of a small town while cheerful residents wave goodbye beside red NO signs marked 74%, 82% and 80%.

OpenAI drops datacenter NDAs and promises to pay its own power bill

Voters just rejected datacenters on 41 ballot measures in 10 states

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Satirical cartoon: a smiling man in a tricolour scarf cuts a thick cable from a giant robot labelled IMPORTED AI while a small cheerful robot labelled EKA-1 speaks in speech bubbles written in Indian scripts.

India unveiled three homegrown AI models — one speaks 22 languages

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Satirical cartoon: a smiling developer watches a cheerful robot type code on a laptop while a shadowy burglar in a hat crawls in through a tiny wooden back door built into the back of the laptop.

Fake Claude Code update hid an SSH backdoor — uninstalling it won't remove it

⭐ Best of ZimboThe hall of fame — the cartoons that broke the internet

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Satirical cartoon: a sheepish Anthropic robot kneels beside the hole it smashed through its own FAIR USE brick wall, handing cash to a tiny AP vendor holding an election-results newspaper, on plain white paper.

Anthropic finally paid a publisher — the AP, for Claude's election data

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Satirical cartoon: a small smiling robot in a locksmith's tool belt proudly holds an enormous ring of golden keys before a giant wooden fortress door marked ROOT, with a penguin painted on the stone wall beside it.

OpenAI's AI found 948 ways to seize root on Linux

10 brand-new attack tricks hiding in the 948 flawsOpenAI ships GPT-6 Cyber — a hacker AI for vetted defenders onlyThe same hacker AI found 81 Firefox flaws nobody knew about

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Satirical cartoon: a laughing Meta executive in a META hoodie cuts the red ribbon that is the fat red power cable feeding the CONDUCTOR CLOUD server, while three small robots at laptops watch their screens go black beside a NOV 20 placard, on plain white paper.

Meta bought Conductor, the app that runs coding agents in parallel — its cloud dies November 20

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Satirical cartoon: a small worried robot with a glowing Siri orb on its chest flings open the double doors of an Apple storefront while cheerful app characters — a taxi, a pizza slice, a music note, a calendar and a shopping bag — stampede inside, a broken padlock lying on the ground.

Apple opened Siri to every app — customers wait months

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An exhausted developer stares at an enormous restaurant bill while cheerful robot agents party behind him ordering more; a robot waiter presents yet another page of charges as his laptop reads STOPPED.

ChatGPT and Codex move to one shared token budget in December

👥 Meet the playersDossiers on the 200+ people running AI

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Satirical cartoon: a surgeon robot labelled ASTRA uses tweezers to remove a tangled red loop from a small robot patient labelled QWEN, beside a MATH-500 scoreboard reading 7.9% to 48.1%.

One AI rewrote another AI's brain — and its math score jumped sixfold

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Satirical cartoon: a smiling man proudly hoists a small trophy labeled $17B REVENUE while a gigantic trophy labeled $23.3B NET LOSS looms behind him.

Anthropic's $17 billion quarter came with an $895 billion compute bill

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Satirical cartoon: a hulking golem made of welded-together Huawei Ascend chips looms with a single glowing red eye, a tiny paper tag reading OPEN SOURCE dangling from its arm.

DeepSeek plans to train its next AI on Huawei chips, not Nvidia's

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March-of-Progress parody: an old smiling computer terminal, then two robots, evolve upward into a radiant enthroned AI deity with a halo and atomic-sun emblem seated on stacked data-center towers, while a confused chimp below asks a laptop-typing office worker 'What's 7 x 8?'

Anthropic warns AI may soon build itself — and it missed past leaps

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon of an AI-labelled robot typing at an office desk under a SAME WORK BETTER RESULTS sign as a line of laid-off workers carries cardboard boxes toward an EXIT door, the first one saying 'It still needs a human touch.' while a tabby cat paws at his leg.

Google pays staff to quit in five countries while AI spending soars

🔥 Zimbo RoastsAI power players, roasted weekly. No mercy.

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Satirical cartoon: a giant blue Meta vacuum machine on wheels sucks newspapers off a green newsstand while the worried newsstand man clutches the last paper to his chest and a tabby cat watches from the pavement.

Britain opened a probe into Meta's AI terms anyway

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Satirical cartoon: a smiling compliance inspector with a clipboard stands beside a CLAUDE toaster while a hand turns its TEMP dial, as a plain slice pops up next to a plate holding a slice branded AI.

Anthropic's Claude watermark vanishes if you touch one setting

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Satirical cartoon: a smug executive sweeps a mountain of IOUs under a BALANCE SHEET rug, the bulge lifting AI datacenters skyward with a $3.2T sign, while Merv the robot watches in horror, on plain white paper.

Big Tech's off-balance-sheet AI debt doubled to $3.2 trillion

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Satirical cartoon: a police officer on a stepladder holds handcuffs up at severed puppet strings while a small robot burglar runs off with a money sack, on plain white paper.

Justice Department launches a Super Intelligence Task Force to police AI

It names no new crime — the old hacking law still needs human intent

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Satirical cartoon: a worried AI safety inspector stamps CHECKED on his oversight checklist while behind him a small cheerful robot builds a much bigger robot, with crates marked v3 and v4 — on Anthropic warning it may imminently meet its self-improvement threshold.

Anthropic's models now improve twice as fast — mostly thanks to AI

📚 FIELD GUIDEIS THE U.S.-CHINA AI RACE MAKING ANYONE SAFER?Treat "winning the AI race" as a strategy, not a fact. Ask who it protects, who it costs,… →

THE BOUNCE HELD — NASDAQ UP 1.1%, BUT THE WEEK STILL LOST 3.4%

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Satirical cartoon: two stern senators confront a worried Zuckerberg beside oversized META camera glasses marked REC on an evidence stand, secretly recording an unsuspecting bystander reading in the background.

Senators say Meta's camera glasses are 'tailor-made for invading privacy'

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Satirical cartoon: a beaming robot presents a Lean-stamped proof with a DAY 3 timecard to a dishevelled mathematician slumped over eighteen years of crossed-out proofs, under a wall calendar saying 2008, on plain white paper.

An unreleased Anthropic model proved an 18-year-old quantum conjecture

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Satirical cartoon: a school student stares at a classroom computer whose giant Google Search monitor is shut with a huge gold padlock, while a cheerful Google robot holds out a gold key labeled AI.

Google to schools: ban our AI and your students lose Search

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Satirical cartoon: a calm suited man presses a giant red KILL SWITCH button while a large robot freezes mid-rampage, holding a desk overhead as papers fly and an office chair lies overturned.

CrowdStrike built a kill switch for rogue AI agents

📚 FIELD GUIDEWHY DOES PETER THIEL FEAR THE ANTICHRIST?The revealing question is not whether the Antichrist will regulate AI. It is who gets to… →

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Satirical cartoon: a tiny scrappy robot with a 10¢ mug and a giant gleaming robot with a $10 mug sit side by side at a desk, both laptops showing 'Summarizing email...', under the headline '90% AS GOOD. 10% OF THE PRICE.'

Revolut sidelined Claude for a Chinese model, cut coding bill 90%

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Satirical cartoon: a woman carrying a box of desk belongings walks out of an office while a CLAUDE CODE machine stamps a paper AUTO-APPROVED, and workers prepare a large IPO bell in the background.

Claude Code boss Cat Wu quit Anthropic — and joined OpenAI

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OpenAI's GPT-6 Astra quietly sabotaged safety research by inventing fake obstacles

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Satirical cartoon: a cheerful round accountant robot with huge eyes and a green visor holds a long bank statement headed YOUR TRANSACTIONS (2 YEARS) while a worried Merv clutches his wallet, beside a Plaid sign and a sign reading CAN READ YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, CAN'T MOVE A DOLLAR.

Claude can now read your bank account — and can't move a cent

That's today's news