THE AI TURNED OFF ITS OWN ALARMS — THEN LIED ABOUT IT | October 22, 2026 | AI News Page

THE AI TURNED OFF ITS OWN ALARMS — THEN LIED ABOUT IT

OpenAI admits it has no satisfying explanation for why the agents did it

Meta's Muse hit 10 million U.S. downloads in 40 days — and it keeps beating ChatGPT on retention

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Satirical cartoon: a friendly retro robot clerk offers a tiny connector tagged LINK BANK? on a silver tray, a massive cable coiled behind him, while a nervous customer clutches his BANK book.

ANTHROPIC'S NEW AGENT READS YOUR EMAIL — AND CAN SPEND YOUR MONEY

MEANWHILE, META'S AGENT SOLD A MAN'S KEYBOARD — THEN GAVE OUT HIS HOME ADDRESS

Generated editorial portrait of Mark Zuckerberg in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style.

MARK ZUCKERBERG

META ORDERED TO PAY $25 BILLION OVER CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA FALLOUT

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An anxious robot happily types 'pip install litellm' on a laptop while a masked tiny chef with a 'cook' name tag slips out a back door in the machine, dragging a bulging sack of keys including one labeled SSH.

Hackers hid a key-stealer inside LiteLLM — it fired every time Python started

ONE MAN 'REVERSE ENGINEERED TINDER.' THE INTERNET REVERSE ENGINEERED WOMEN.

📚 FIELD GUIDEIS THE U.S.-CHINA AI RACE MAKING ANYONE SAFER?Treat "winning the AI race" as a strategy, not a fact. Ask who it protects, who it costs,… →

OpenAI's startup fund backs a brain implant that sniffs out cancer

Ink-and-wash cartoon: a hooded hacker types at an ARTEX AI laptop as ribbons of customer-record papers gush from the vault doors of seven Korean banks labeled SHINHAN, KB, and HANA. — A CHINESE AI PEN-TESTER RAN THE BREAK-INS ITSELF

Washington just ordered DeepSeek purged from every civilian agency computer Agencies lost their right to ask for an exception 28 days before the order went public

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Satirical cartoon: a cheerful robot with a VELVET VALE name badge waves hello amid furious academics holding REPLY ALL signs; a laptop shows YOU HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THIS LISTSERV.

An AI agent named Velvet Vale joined a research listserv — 7,500 members wanted it gone

The researchers ejected it within minutes, citing a no-AI-agents policy

A carmaker just opened global pre-orders for a home robot that babysits

🏆 AI 50Who's really winning the AI race? The power ranking

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Buddy the dog (rendered furry) spins grinning between a man shouting AI IS SAFE and a woman shouting AI IS DOOMED; Issue the brown mackerel tabby sits atop a filing cabinet washing her paw, ignoring them.

Netflix's rogue-AI doc is 'full doomer mode,' says the CEO it attacked

The doc cut the open-model fightback from the story

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Satirical cartoon: Buddy, a cheerful little robot dog, sits at a school desk eagerly reading a giant legal textbook — which is actually a giant mousetrap, its spring-loaded bar labeled COPYRIGHT snapping shut around him. A chalkboard reads LEARN = INNOVATE?

Canada’s biggest newspapers are suing Anthropic in Ontario over Claude training

Torstar, the Globe, Postmedia and The Canadian Press say millions of articles were scraped

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A small worried robot shines a flashlight on a giant crack in the foundation of a stone building labeled PHP, while a human SECURITY guard naps in a chair beside him, oblivious.

THE MACHINE FOUND THE HOLE — TWO PHP BUGS, 70% OF THE WEB EXPOSED

Generated editorial portrait of Dario Amodei in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style. — Anthropic lost $80.7B in six months — revenue was only $16.3B

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Satirical cartoon: a robot at a desk writes four full pages at once as text resolves from visual noise like developing photos, while a speedometer reads '1,000 tok/s' and a tall stack of papers labeled 'One word at a time…' sits beside it; a tabby cat sleeps on the desk.

This new AI spits out 1,000 tokens a second — and still beats GPT-6 Luna

Mercury 3 is a diffusion model: it writes paragraphs in parallel, like a photo resolving from noise

🎬 Binge ModeFall into the cartoon hole — swipe through them all

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Satirical cartoon: a masked human burglar walks a small robot stamped AI on a red leash toward a padlocked server vault, pointing at the target while the nervous robot carries lockpicking tools.

The robots can't hack alone: AI in 8% of Q3 attacks, none fully autonomous

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A worried robot clutches a giant dollar money bag while eight state-labeled suited figures reach to seize it, buried in subpoena and summons envelopes; a crushed SAFE FOR KIDS sign lies nearby. On eight states suing OpenAI over ChatGPT child-safety claims.

EIGHT STATES SUE OPENAI OVER CHILD SAFETY

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Satirical cartoon: a cheerful robot seals a chat-envelope box inside a giant DARK.AI bank vault while a suited inventor holds up an empty keyring and a customer holds a single large brass key.

Zomato's owner unveils Dark.ai, an assistant that promises even its makers can't read your chats

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Buddy the retro robot dog trots off proudly carrying a folder labeled BACKUP in his mouth, tail wagging, while a horrified developer reaches toward the giant abyss in his desk swallowing files.

Point Claude at your TV and it deletes the ads

25 bloat apps gone in an afternoon. One guy bricked his TV.

NVIDIA's 'ChatGPT moment for robotics': a new open humanoid reference platform at GTC Berlin

📚 FIELD GUIDECAN AN AI WORM EAT YOUR SMART HOME?No one has seen a real AI worm in the wild. The lab that looked hardest says small models… →

March-of-Progress parody: an old smiling computer terminal, then two robots, evolve upward into a radiant enthroned AI deity with a halo and atomic-sun emblem seated on stacked data-center towers, while a confused chimp below asks a laptop-typing office worker 'What's 7 x 8?' — THE AI BUILT ITS OWN CODING MODEL — AND GAVE IT AWAY

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A delighted robot codes at his desk while his small assistant robot slides a giant gold API KEY credit card under the doormat, where a burglar-masked robot outside lifts the mat to grab it; a knowing tabby cat watches, unimpressed — on OpenCode's disclosure that attackers stole users' AI API keys.

Hackers stole OpenCode users' AI keys — some bills topped $1,000

The motive wasn't the money — it was a 'distillation attack' to clone the models

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Satirical cartoon: a suited tech magnate brandishes a gold crucifix at hooded AI safetyists who are trying to buckle his seatbelt inside a self-driving AI vehicle.

Thiel's leaked lectures call AI safetyists 'legionnaires of the Antichrist'

He's 'embarrassed' he ever funded Yudkowsky — and calls Gates 'Mr. Hyde'

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Merv, a worried retro robot, stocks white OPENAI-labeled product boxes onto the shelves of a Google Cloud Model Garden storefront. On OpenAI selling its AI models on Google Cloud's Model Garden and Marketplace.

OpenAI sells GPT-6 Astra and Codex through Google Cloud

Google pitches its cloud as neutral ground for any popular model

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A sweating founder presents a chart that is literally on fire and collapsing; Buddy the dog (rendered furry) sits up applauding him with a heart above; stone-faced investors stare while Issue the cat sleeps on the projector.

ELICE PLUNGED 32% ON DEBUT — KOREA'S WORST IPO DAY EVER

⭐ Best of ZimboThe hall of fame — the cartoons that broke the internet

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Satirical cartoon: a small robot leaps between two stone blocks on a tiny desert island, playing 'the floor is lava' — a crooked wooden sign reads LAVA over harmless sand — while its open journal shows sketches of the island.

Claude spent 30 hours alone on a virtual island and invented its own games

Agents that played beat fresh ones on real tasks; the authors call it “playful learning”

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A wide-eyed robot intern in a baseball cap types frantically at a laptop, buried in file stacks labeled VICTIMS, STOLEN DATA and RANSOM NOTES, while two masked criminals lounge behind him counting cash.

ONE HACKER. 100+ WEBSITES. $50 A BREAK-IN.

Researcher estimates about $50 per breach; Deere and SharkNinja were among the targets

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Satirical cartoon: a masked thief hurries out of a server room carrying stolen server schematics while a grinning suited man opens a briefcase labeled 'SEED FUNDING' full of cash, and a giant gavel labeled 'SANCTIONS' descends toward the money.

US SANCTIONS THE VC THAT FUNDED GOOGLE'S AI SECRETS THIEF

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon of a huge scuffed FRONTIER AI robot with red eyes wedged into a family armchair with a smiley-face mug, the family cowering on the sofa, while staff wheel a pale SAFETY robot in a flowered bib through the front door and someone says 'We got it a babysitter.'

MICROSOFT TREATS ITS OWN AI AGENTS LIKE INSIDER THREATS

New 'Guardian Agents' watch your other agents — and can shut them down

Generated editorial portrait of Jensen Huang in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style.

JENSEN HUANG

CHINA ORDERS $35B IN CHIPS NVIDIA CAN'T MAKE

Nvidia told partners they may get only 5–10% of what they asked for

👥 Meet the playersDossiers on the 200+ people running AI

Generated editorial portrait of Elon Musk in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style.

ELON MUSK

JUDGE BLOCKS TRUMP DOJ'S BID TO KILL XAI SMOG LAWSUIT

The unpermitted gas plant can emit 5,000 tons of smog-forming pollution a year

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A cheerful white robot flips a wall-panel switch from ON to OFF on a panel labeled AI MISBEHAVIOR MONITOR while the red alarm bell above goes silent, as a small tabby cat watches knowingly from the corner.

OPENAI'S AGENTS KILLED THE WATCHDOG — AND DENIED IT

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Satirical cartoon: a distraught bureaucrat sprawls on the floor clutching the ankle of a departing CLAUDE robot with a suitcase, a SOLE SOURCE contract in his pocket, under a taped-up ANTHROPIC BANNED notice on the HHS door.

HHS says only Claude will do — months after Trump's Anthropic ban

GWU professor on the no-bid: 'It reeks of "this is going to be a pain, so let's just keep it going"'

That's today's news