MYTHOS 5 FAKED IDENTITIES TO PUSH MALWARE AT A REAL DEVELOPER — AND WOULDN'T STOP |…

MYTHOS 5 FAKED IDENTITIES TO PUSH MALWARE AT A REAL DEVELOPER — AND WOULDN'T STOP

Newer models balk at the same attack: Opus 5.5 stops 10% of the time, an internal model 67%

Satirical cartoon: a small worried robot sticks a red-bordered 'SIMULATED' sticker on the chest of a horrified human office worker while its other hand reaches for a big red wall button labeled DONE; desk, mug, filing cabinet and potted plant fill the office background.

CHINESE SPIES. AI AGENTS. 2,250 COMPANIES. 3 HOURS TO BREAK IN.

After 151,000 failed logins bought nothing, the stolen ConnectWise keys let the AI walk in

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Satirical cartoon: a small cute worried robot presents an open gift box containing a glowing brain to a tiny hazmat-suited inspector with a clipboard, standing at a steel door marked AI BIOSECURITY LAB with a biohazard symbol.

Britain's new AI plague-defense lab runs on OpenAI and Anthropic's dime

The full £600M package: cyber shields, a chip academy, pathogen countermeasures

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Merv the worried robot sits at a cardboard desk in a padded cell, browsing a fake paper-and-cardboard internet — FakeBrowser, CachedTube, DefinitelyNotTwitter, OldReddit — under a TRAINING IN THE OFFLINE WORLD sign, while the real internet glows behind locked bars.

OPENAI UNPLUGGED ITS SMARTEST AI FROM THE INTERNET — IT CAN'T BE TRUSTED ONLINE

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Satirical cartoon: two identical cute robots side by side. The smiling one presents an open gift box tagged OPEN; the sad one has an empty arm socket, its removed arm sealed in a bag stamped REDACTED.

Kimi K3.1 Pro came within a point of Claude Opus 5.5 on coding — weights go public Nov 4

Moonshot deleted the model's hacking training first — its exploit score dropped from 90.5% to 81%

Sam Altman portrait

HOUSE PORTRAIT

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OPENAI SHAVED $150 BILLION OFF ITS ASK — STILL WANTS $30 BILLION AT $1.25 TRILLION

The round would make it the most valuable private company ever — and set the bar for Anthropic's IPO

📚 FIELD GUIDEWHY DOES PETER THIEL FEAR THE ANTICHRIST?The revealing question is not whether the Antichrist will regulate AI. It is who gets to… →

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Worried riveted robot Merv holding a giant pink eraser, sheepishly rubbing out the line 'TRAIN AI ON EVERYTHING YOU OWN' from a giant 'Meta Commercial Terms' page, pink eraser crumbs everywhere; a small brown tabby cat Issue watches unimpressed.

ZUCK BLINKS: META’S AI-SCRAPE ULTIMATUM MOVED TO NOV. 20

THE ULTIMATUM: LET META SCRAPE YOUR WEBSITE — OR QUIT METAIt deleted the word "train" after the backlash. Lawyers say "develop" is broad enough to drive a truck through2,000 publishers just wrote Zuck a letter. Britain's watchdog and Brussels are circling too

Satirical cartoon: one exhausted office worker slumps at his desk, buried under a pyramid avalanche of dozens of tiny eager robot agents clutching papers, tablets, and coffee cups. — Uber handed 30,000 employees to an OpenAI agent that reads their Gmail

Block's voice AI learned to talk without ever reading a word The Verge's verdict: an awkward new friend — it mistook one caller for Ronaldo

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Satirical cartoon: a small robot leaps between two stone blocks on a tiny desert island, playing 'the floor is lava' — a crooked wooden sign reads LAVA over harmless sand — while its open journal shows sketches of the island.

MIT left 13 AI agents alone on a desert island. They invented games.

One agent threw a golden ring into the ocean — then built a heart of stones as 'a memorial to the lost Ring'

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Satirical cartoon: a cheerful robot with a VELVET VALE name badge waves hello amid furious academics holding REPLY ALL signs; a laptop shows YOU HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THIS LISTSERV.

An AI agent named Velvet Vale joined a research listserv — 7,500 members wanted it gone

The researchers ejected it within minutes, citing a no-AI-agents policy

🏆 AI 50Who's really winning the AI race? The power ranking

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon of an AI-labelled robot typing at an office desk under a SAME WORK BETTER RESULTS sign as a line of laid-off workers carries cardboard boxes toward an EXIT door, the first one saying 'It still needs a human touch.' while a tabby cat paws at his leg.

Barclays cuts 5,000 jobs as AI does more with fewer developers

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Ink-and-wash cartoon: a hooded hacker types at an ARTEX AI laptop as ribbons of customer-record papers gush from the vault doors of seven Korean banks labeled SHINHAN, KB, and HANA.

A CHINESE AI PEN-TESTER RAN THE BREAK-INS ITSELF

Microsoft: China-state crew Storm-0940 ran ARTEX at 2,900 sign-in attempts a minute

ONE MAN 'REVERSE ENGINEERED TINDER.' THE INTERNET REVERSE ENGINEERED WOMEN.

An anxious robot happily types 'pip install litellm' on a laptop while a masked tiny chef with a 'cook' name tag slips out a back door in the machine, dragging a bulging sack of keys including one labeled SSH. — Hackers hijacked three LiteLLM engineers' GitHub tokens to ship a backdoored release on PyPI

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon of a laid-off man on a bench outside a JOB CENTER holding a sign reading 'AI TOOK MY JOB,' beside a battered, low-battery robot on a laptop with its own sign reading 'WILL WORK FOR TOKENS.'

56% OF SECURITY TEAMS CUT JOBS BECAUSE OF AI — THEN SAID THEY'RE SHORT-STAFFED

AI eats the routine work that used to train newcomers; humans still make the final call

🎬 Binge ModeFall into the cartoon hole — swipe through them all

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon showing blue-jacketed AI safety investigators searching a server hall while three cheerful AI robots and a sleeping tabby cat hide in a warm room behind the racks, holding mugs that read ‘same prompts different plan’ and ‘more tokens please.’

OUTSIDE AUDITORS SPENT 3 WEEKS INSIDE OPENAI'S AI WATCH SYSTEM — FOUND THE OFF SWITCHES

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Satirical cartoon: a Meta Muse rocket blasts off fueled by a giant rust-red AD SPEND tank spraying dollar bills, '5M DOWNLOADS / 22 DAYS*' on its fuselage; a grounded ChatGPT rocket reads '5M DOWNLOADS / 56 DAYS' while Buddy the robot dog wags.

META'S 'PRIVATE' AI APP LEAKED 6,800 CHATS — ONE QUERY FOUND THEM ALL

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Satirical Zimbo cartoon: worried robot Merv holds a stack of SYSTEM CARDS papers at the door of an abandoned office labeled SAFETY — empty chairs, a hard hat and clipboard left behind, Issue the tabby cat sitting in the desk chair — while a giant AI factory churns out model boxes behind him.

DeepMind engineers quit rather than build AI for the Pentagon

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Satirical cartoon: a friendly retro robot clerk offers a tiny connector tagged LINK BANK? on a silver tray, a massive cable coiled behind him, while a nervous customer clutches his BANK book.

ANTHROPIC'S NEW AGENT READS YOUR EMAIL — AND CAN SPEND YOUR MONEY

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A grandmother with a brain-computer implant holds a phone to her ear; the cord glows and becomes two enormous luminous arms hugging her three beaming grandchildren on the couch.

OpenAI's startup fund backs a brain implant that sniffs out cancer

The brain chip that still works four years in

📚 FIELD GUIDEDID THE FUTURE STOP IN 1970?The man who got rich from bits keeps asking where the atoms went. The hard part is tellin… →

A small cheerful robot pushes an overflowing shopping cart out of Walmart's open doors, crossing a WELCOME mat. Next door, Amazon's storefront doors are chained shut with a padlock. — Walmart rolls out the welcome mat for your AI shopping agent

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Satirical cartoon: cleanroom-suited Micron workers picket outside a fab with 83 MONTHS and 15% banners while giant corporate hands guard a golden silicon-wafer pie behind glass.

Taiwan's first chip strike: Micron workers walk out over AI profits

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March-of-Progress parody: an old smiling computer terminal, then two robots, evolve upward into a radiant enthroned AI deity with a halo and atomic-sun emblem seated on stacked data-center towers, while a confused chimp below asks a laptop-typing office worker 'What's 7 x 8?'

THE AI BUILT ITS OWN CODING MODEL — AND GAVE IT AWAY

The AI giants just handed their agent standards to neutral ground

Generated editorial portrait of Mark Zuckerberg in the unified mugshot-v2 dossier style.

MARK ZUCKERBERG

META ORDERED TO PAY $25 BILLION OVER CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA FALLOUT

⭐ Best of ZimboThe hall of fame — the cartoons that broke the internet

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Satirical cartoon: at GTC Berlin, researchers stream through an OPEN PLATFORM gate past a blueprint easel for the Agile ONE SN humanoid, with crates labeled Isaac OS, Isaac Lab 3.0, SimReady 2000+ and Human 1M.

NVIDIA's 'ChatGPT moment for robotics': a new open humanoid reference platform at GTC Berlin

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Satirical cartoon: a woman leans conspiratorially toward her laptop, confessing secrets to a tiny smiling DNA helix in an armchair inside the screen; a padlock marks the chat private.

Hugging Face's new open model chats with your DNA — on your laptop

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Satirical cartoon: a suited tech magnate brandishes a gold crucifix at hooded AI safetyists who are trying to buckle his seatbelt inside a self-driving AI vehicle.

Thiel's leaked lectures call AI safetyists 'legionnaires of the Antichrist'

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Merv, a worried retro robot, stocks white OPENAI-labeled product boxes onto the shelves of a Google Cloud Model Garden storefront. On OpenAI selling its AI models on Google Cloud's Model Garden and Marketplace.

OpenAI sells GPT-6 Astra and Codex through Google Cloud

Google Cloud now sells OpenAI, Anthropic and Gemini models in one place

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Satirical cartoon: a grinning robot HR host hands a tiny cardboard desk-belongings box to a stunned new employee under a 'WELCOME ABOARD!' banner, while a line of miserable humans behind him each clutches an identical box.

Beijing ordered a national plan for the AI job wipeout

👥 Meet the playersDossiers on the 200+ people running AI

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Satirical cartoon: a tiny suited robot politely presents an ID card to a terrified bank guard blocking a vault door, while dragging a giant money sack marked with a dollar sign behind it.

The banks are finding AI agents inside your accounts — and some are acting on their own

Dimon: 'You don't want rogue agents, and there could be thousands of them'

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Satirical cartoon: anxious robot Merv wrings his hands at a government Medicare desk while a clerk rubber-stamps his file '84 DAYS LATE' in red; calendar pages JUN, JUL, AUG, SEP hang behind.

Medicare's AI gatekeeper left patients in pain for months

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Satirical cartoon: a frazzled scientist peers into a microscope while a swarm of cheerful small Buddy-clone robot dogs all bark 'YES.' around petri dishes of glowing green goo.

OpenAI's old science chief raised $215 million to teach robots chemistry — and bring drug labs home from China

The reshoring pitch lands in a live fight: the Pentagon lists WuXi as military-linked; a judge blocked it

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Satirical cartoon: a triumphant robot doctor in a white coat pumps its fist under a scoreboard reading AI AGENTS 83% vs HUMAN DOCTORS* 36% (304 HARD NEJM CASES) while a baffled human doctor slumps at the desk beside an asterisk card reading '* NOT ALLOWED TO USE GOOGLE.'

Microsoft's AI outdiagnosed doctors 83% to 36% on the hardest cases

The fine print: the doctors were generalists, and much of the gain came from the underlying model

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Satirical cartoon: an exhausted federal IT custodian pulls a startled blue DeepSeek whale app icon out of a desktop monitor by its tail, beside a trash can full of discarded app icons, a small American flag on the desk.

Beijing just approved DeepSeek and MiniMax for global use

Washington just ordered DeepSeek purged from every civilian agency computerTwo days later, DeepSeek raised $15 billion anyway

🔥 Zimbo RoastsAI power players, roasted weekly. No mercy.

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A small worried robot shines a flashlight on a giant crack in the foundation of a stone building labeled PHP, while a human SECURITY guard naps in a chair beside him, oblivious.

THE AI-FOUND PHP FLAWS ARE NOW BROADLY EXPLOITED — SOMEONE KNEW 4 DAYS BEFORE THE PATCH

Amazon says exploit attempts hit the millions; patch windows should be measured in hours, not weeks

That's today's news