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THE CHAMPION IS STILL IN THE LAB

By Zimbo · October 31, 2026

AI cartoon by Zimbo: Satirical cartoon: a scientist in a white coat raises a trophy on a winner's podium inside a padlocked glass clinical-trial chamber, under a scoreboard reading STAIRMED 42 and NEURALINK 27, while a regulator holding a key and a REGULATOR folder waits outside.
Stairmed leads Neuralink 42 to 27 on the implant scoreboard — and celebrates from inside a padlocked clinical-trial chamber, while the regulator outside still holds the key.Zimbo for AI News Page

The story behind the cartoon

Shanghai-based Stairmed Technology raised about $192.5 million in a late-stage round backed by Tencent, Alibaba, Geely Capital, CATL and others, bringing its total raised to about $357.5 million. Its core product, the WRS 01, is a 256-channel implant that decodes neural signals into commands for external devices, aimed at restoring movement for people with high-level paralysis.

As of October 28 the company reports 42 long-term implants and more than 10,000 hours of brain control — more implants, it says, than Neuralink's 27. The device is not approved for commercial use, and Stairmed still has to prove long-term safety, clinical benefit and manufacturing at scale.

The race is real but the trophy is early: an implant count is not an approval, and the company that leads the tally still has to clear the safety, benefit, and scale tests before the device reaches patients outside a trial.

The joke is the champion still in the lab: the scientist celebrates first place on the podium while locked inside the clinical-trial chamber — the trophy is his, the key is still the regulator's.

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